The Virginia Tech International Friendship Program
Host Guide

Welcome!
Thank you for becoming a part of Virginia Tech's International Friendship Program. The roots of this program extend back to the mid-1950s. You are extending the legacy of providing caring hospitality to Virginia Tech's international students.

Virginia Tech's Cranwell International Center
The University's International Center serves more than 2,100 international students and scholars from approximately 116 countries. Services provided include: orientation for all new students, visa-related services for undergraduates, the Friendship Program, English conversation groups, undergraduate and graduate classes, emergency assistance, student travel cards, and cultural and academic adjustment counseling. The Center maintains a website and communicates important information weekly to students via e-mail.

What is the International Friendship Program?
The Virginia Tech International Friendship Program pairs community residents (families, couples, or individuals) of all ages with undergraduate and graduate international students. Friendships formed by sharing time together about once a month enrich local residents' lives and expand students' educational experiences. Students discover more personal aspects of American culture, and community members gain intercultural understanding. This program offers a wonderful way to make a difference in the lives of international students who seek community connections.

Please note: Students do not live with their hosts, nor do hosts assume any financial responsibility for their students.

After completing an application and signing volunteer guidelines, hosts may come to the Center to look at available student applications, or a compatible student will be assigned.

What are Host Responsibilities and Expectations?
Your involvement as a friendship host ensures that the student has an opportunity for a fulfilling cultural experience while enrolled at Virginia Tech.

As a host you should:

• Contact your student as soon as you are matched.
• Meet your student and begin to establish a relationship within two weeks of being matched.
• Be a friend and a host to your student as long as he or she is enrolled at Virginia Tech. Students and hosts are not reassigned each year. Some friendships continue for years after students graduate.
• Help your student to experience and learn about the United States' customs and cultures.
• Discuss any misconceptions your student may have about life in the United States.
• Provide your student with a "home away from home."
• Arrange get-togethers and activities; the Center suggests meeting together at least once a month.
• Notify the Center at (540) 231-6527 if you feel your student might be experiencing difficulties.
• Notify the Center if you cannot fulfill your obligation to maintain the friendship. This will be tactfully conveyed to your student, who can then choose to be assigned to a new host.
• At any time if you have questions about your responsibilities or limits, contact the Center.

The single-most important thing to remember as a host:
You have made a commitment to try to develop a friendship with a guest in our country. Please remember to treat your friendship student as you would a close friend or family member. Maintain regular communication with your student. If you find that you cannot continue to host the student, immediately advise the Center. This will help avoid hurt feelings and prevent misconceptions about how Americans value friendships and treat others.

As a host, you should not:

• Serve as the student's professional counselor (this is the responsibility of Virginia Tech’s International Center staff and Counseling Center staff);
• Accept any financial or legal responsibility for your student;
• Answer any questions about immigration (the Center's staff has expertise);
• Assist your student with tax returns; or
• Employ your student in any situation, either for money or services in kind. However, if a student offers infrequently to help you with babysitting, yard work, etc., this is not considered employment, but rather the type of help family and friends give each other.

How May I Be a Successful Friendship Host?
Serving as a friendship host is neither difficult nor time consuming. It is not the amount of time spent together, but the quality of that time that counts.

• Have an open mind about the host/student relationship.
• Contact the student before his or her arrival in United States; students report this is very important to cementing the host/student relationship.
• Suggest to the student what name he or she might call you; for example, "Feel free to call me Fred, if that's comfortable for you. What name do you prefer to be called?"
• Take time to learn to pronounce the student's entire name and nickname.
• Be friendly.
• Express genuine interest in your student's country and family. Learn more about your student's country and culture. A good basic source is the CIA World Handbook. www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook
• Be a good listener. Encourage your student to ask questions and talk freely, thus exercising his or her "English language muscles." In this way, you will not need to carry the conversation.
• Be patient about your student's rate of communication. Some new students may speak English better than they understand English accents, slang, and so forth. At first, you may need to speak a little more slowly, try to explain slang and colloquial expressions, and allow the student time to think in his or her own language before responding in English.
• Be willing to take the lead in initiating conversations and organizing activities. A successful relationship depends on a shared effort between host and student, but the host usually sets the tone.
• If convenient for you, ask your student to include a friend or roommate on a specific visit to your home or other activity.
• Let your student know that you are always available if he or she needs to talk with someone regarding anything that he or she may have questions about or be concerned about.
• If possible, meet your student on campus or in Blacksburg for a quick snack, especially during busy academic times, or leave some goodies at his or her door.
• Reassure the student that the time spent together is as valuable to you as it is to him or her.

What Happens Prior to My Student's Arrival?
The Center provides students with pre-arrival information concerning academic issues, transportation from Roanoke, and temporary accommodations upon arrival. Before your student's arrival, you should:

• Send e-mail messages to your student as soon as you are matched, introducing yourself and any others in your home;
• Let your student know you will be pleased to answer questions about the area;
• Ask the student to contact you as soon as he or she arrives at Virginia Tech to tell you where he or she is staying and to make arrangements to meet;
• Tell him or her to keep your e-mail address and phone number with his or her carry-on luggage;
• Offer to meet the student at the airport if you wish (the Center arranges transportation from the Roanoke airport); and
• See www.uusa.vt.edu/cranwell/newstudents_prearrivalinfo.shtml for complete student pre-arrival information.

How May I Be Helpful to My Student?

While Settling in:
Please invite the student to your home before classes begin, even if only for light snacks. If you cannot do this at your home, please treat the student to refreshments at a restaurant, or provide some other form of hospitality before classes begin. Most hosts and students find that time spent together as the student settles in really gets the relationship off to a good start.

You may also offer to:

• Help shop for household supplies, food, and items too large to carry on the bus;
• Explain sheet sizes and other tips for buying linens;
• Explain store return policies;
• Help locate used furniture, especially a mattress, for the student's apartment (many students sleep on the floor without a mattress for weeks); and
• Show him or her how to use a clothes washer and dryer, a garbage disposal, and other appliances.

Encourage participation in the orientation events, sessions, dinners, socials, trips, etc. sponsored by the Center. (A list is available from the Center; all students receive one at check-in). Much information is given during these times, even during the social events. Participation is particularly important for students staying off campus during orientation.

Shopping in large grocery stores may be a new experience for many international students. You might explain discount cards, pricing, placing produce in separate bags, etc. Oasis World Foods on South Main Street (opposite Kroger, near CVS and the Dollar Tree) is a source for many specialty foods and fresh produce.

All Year Round:
As students are independent to varying degrees, these suggestions may or may not fit each student:

• Offer to provide advice when the student isn't feeling well, needs to find a dentist, etc.
• Offer help with shopping for good clothing values (quality for price, brands, winter clothing).
• Offer to loan your vacuum occasionally to your student if he or she is staying in an apartment.
• As a special treat for the student, and if possible for your circumstances, include him or her in a day trip or overnight trip.
• Offer to help him or her with advice on buying a car.
• Offer to store some of his or her items at your home during the summer.
• Offer to drive him or her to or from the airport.
• Reassure your student that you are available to listen if he or she needs someone to talk to.
• Realize that first-year students may be lonely and experience homesickness during their entire first year, but may not say so. Try to invite your student to join you for as many simple activities as you can, knowing that his or her schedule won’t allow him or her to accept all invitations.

Communication and Developing Relationships
Your commitment to developing and maintaining a long-term relationship with your student is essential. The relationship begins and continues to grow through open and mutually respectful communication. Several communication-related suggestions were offered in the section on becoming a successful international host. Continuing communication between you and your student is the single-most important contributor to a successful relationship.

Additional ideas:

• Keep in touch with your student.
• On the first or second visit to your home, offer to give a brief tour. Explain that you know he or she has not been in an American home before and might like to see yours, and also that you want him or her to feel at home.
• Use a variety of communication modes: phone, e-mail, voicemail, postal mail, and face-to-face discussion; each has its own strengths and limitations.
• Initiate activities and meetings with your student.
• Treat your student as one of your family.
• Explain what "make yourself at home" and "we'd like for you to feel like one of the family" mean.
• Students are often initially reserved. Open the door for them to feel comfortable to ask questions about your background, family, hobbies, traditions, beliefs, etc.
• Include your student in family celebrations when possible.
• State the date by which you need a reply to an invitation.
• If you issue an invitation verbally, it is best to also send an e-mail with the details and ask the student if he or she will be able to join you.
• Advise your student of appropriate dress for an occasion, if it will require something more than everyday attire.
• Remember your student's birthday with dinner, a cake, a card, and/or a phone call.
• Write (only with the student’s approval) a brief letter or e-mail to his or her parents and/or spouse, and include a photo, simply to say it is nice to get to know his or her daughter, son, spouse, etc.
• Try calling students in the morning or evening; ask for a lab or office phone number.
• Encourage your student to contact you, either just for a quick chat or to ask for help.
• Call your student when you are going somewhere (e.g., shopping, to Roanoke, hiking, to kids' events) and ask if he or she would like to go along.
• Respond to messages from your student in a timely manner; this will reassure the student that he or she is not being a bother and that you have time for him or her.
• Check in with your student periodically by e-mail or voicemail to let him or her know you are interested in how he or she is doing (academics, health, activities, friends, etc). This will also reassure the student that he or she is important to you and that you want to make time for him or her.
• Be understanding when your student’s academic schedule prevents him or her from spending time with you. Ask when he or she will be finished with a project, test, etc., so that you could ask again.
• Don't forget to keep in touch with your student.

What Kinds of Activities May Friendship Hosts and Students Share?
The goal of the Friendship Program is to provide friendship and give students a realistic view of everyday American life. Therefore, including the student in any simple activity is encouraged, such as cooking, sharing meals, watching videos, going for walks, running errands, gardening, or anything the host does in his or her everyday routine. Inviting students to attend meetings of civic organizations, community fundraising dinners, and volunteer activities shows a facet of American culture that is not as prevalent in many other countries.

Many students appreciate help with conversational English skills development. Of course, inviting students to join you for special events, sporting events, day trips, community activities, and celebrations is encouraged when possible. An extensive list of fun host/student activities is available by request from the Center or at www.uusa.vt.edu/cranwell/living_aroundtown.shtml.

Ask your student what holidays his or her family celebrates; discuss how and why holidays are celebrated in his or her country and here. Hosts are encouraged to invite students to experience holiday celebrations such as the Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year. If you invite a student to a family, holiday, or religious celebration, you may explain some things ahead of time, encourage the student to ask questions, or explain things as the celebration takes place. For a list of holidays and observances, go to www.earthcalendar.net/index.php. Many electronic greeting card sites also have reliable listings of significant days.

Will There Be Some Cultural Concerns?
Food, pets, and religion are among the most frequently mentioned areas. There may be other concerns, depending on the student’s country of origin. You may want to learn something about your student's country and culture before he or she arrives in the United States. It is best to ask questions to learn about your student and his or her culture. Discussions can occur quite easily in the course of informal get-togethers. For any issue that you have questions or concerns about and do not feel comfortable discussing with your student, please call the International Center for advice.

It may be helpful to explain customs by saying, "This is our custom to_____, so you may___(take a second helping of food, eat with your fingers, open the gift, etc.)."

Any dietary restrictions or pet concerns your student has will be listed on the student's information form.

Some hosts and students enjoy discussing their religious beliefs and beliefs of others in their respective cultures. You should respect your student’s beliefs just as you would expect him or her to respect your beliefs. If you offer a prayer before a meal, explain this to the student beforehand. Suggest to the student that he or she may simply sit and listen, or participate, whichever the student is comfortable with. This is one situation in which you must be considerate of your student while still observing your own tradition. You may invite your student to attend a service, observance, or social event sponsored by a religious community; always advise the student as to the nature of the event. You must give your student an option to attend or not attend, without the student feeling that your friendship is dependent upon his or her presence. It is appropriate to invite your student to experience your religious community; however, it is not appropriate to lead your student into any activity that may be in conflict with his or her religious principles.

Do Student Spouses and Families Have Additional Needs?
While most students are single, some friendship students arrive with a spouse, a child, or children. Everyday life for a non-student spouse can be trying. Spouses often face language difficulties, cultural adjustments, loneliness, boredom, and having to deal with the academic stress their student spouse may be experiencing. Most spousal visas do not allow the spouse to be employed or become a student. Ways hosts may help a student’s spouse include:

• Taking him or her on a tour of the public library and help him or her obtain a library card.
• Take him or her on a visit to the post office.
• Assist him or her with finding a doctor or dentist; explain what to expect during an appointment.
• Go with the spouse on a Blacksburg Transit bus to help him or her develop confidence in navigating the community and reaching places on his or her own.
• Teach the spouse how to shop for groceries and household products.
• Help him or her with English practice.
• Explain the use of 911.
• Suggest appropriate ways for him or her to interact with police officers when stopped for a traffic incident, or when he or she may need to call for help.
• Make the spouse aware that the Center offers informal conversation groups that are open to spouses and that there are other free English programs available in the community. Assist the spouse in finding an appropriate group that fits his or her schedule.
• Suggest that the spouse contact the YMCA at Virginia Tech at www.vtymca.org, the YMCA provides programs for international spouses.
• A regular meeting can give a spouse something to look forward to. If possible, invite him or her to lunch at your home or out on a regular basis to practice English, build confidence, and familiarize him or her with American food and menus.

When children come along, hosts may:

• Help the parents locate parks and activities, such as ones offered through the town and county recreation departments, schools, and other organizations.
• Answer questions about local schools.
• Make the parents aware of childproofing cabinet locks, electrical outlet covers, etc.
• Explain to the parents that children must not be left alone in the home or a car.
• Explain the importance of car seats, booster seats, seat belts; let the parents know the appropriate ages for each; and help them obtain or locate these items.

Do Students Experience Homesickness and Cultural Adjustment?
All students undergo cultural adjustment to varying degrees; many will experience homesickness. Homesickness often surfaces around late October, when the newness of being here has worn off, academic work piles up, and the weather and amount of daylight change. However, problems may arise at any time. Students may:

• Experience sleep difficulties;
• Stop eating well;
• Stop going to class;
• Have difficulty connecting well with others;
• Become severely concerned about their health;
• Experience anxiety or depression;
• Express uncertainty about their choice to study at Virginia Tech; or
• Complain about life in the United States.

Your possible response to these situations is discussed in the next section.

What if a Student Has a Problem?
Most students encounter a wide range of problems and are able to deal with them. However, some students have serious personal, roommate, financial, health, physical, or emotional problems. The student may not even understand there is a serious problem, but you may realize it because of what you hear or see. The Center has trained counselors who will provide confidential counseling to students and confidential advice to hosts. Hosts should feel free to call the Center for advice. If you choose to talk with your student, and the student acknowledges the problem and wants to discuss it, be a good listener (see "Guidelines for Interaction" on the next page). Sometimes the problem may not be as serious as first believed. However, serious student problems should always be referred to Center staff immediately. If the student seems unwilling to be involved with the Center, please contact a staff member so that a culturally appropriate avenue for intervention can be found.

Be assured that the Center's staff members are in the best position to provide assistance. If you are concerned about a student, but unsure about whether a problem exists, feel free to call the Center to discuss the situation.

Notice for hosts of undergraduate students: Please notify the Center if an undergraduate international student is charged with any legal offense other than a parking ticket. This will help prevent possible future immigration problems. The Center staff cares for each student and will gently help students through any problems. Graduate students may also discuss legal issues with staff.

Guidelines for Interaction with a Student When a Problem Is Suspected:

• Talk to the student in private.
• Express concern. Be as specific as possible in stating your observations and reasons for concern.
• Listen carefully to everything the student says.
• Repeat the essence of what the student has told you so your attempts to understand are communicated.
• Avoid sounding critical.
• Discuss the International Center staff as a source of help and ask the student if he or she would like to talk to someone at the Center. You may offer to call the Center, with the student present, to set up an appointment; call (540) 231-6527 or (540) 230-8747, 24 hours a day. Identify yourself as a friendship host, and ask for an appointment for the student. Write down the appointment date, time, and name of the staff person for the student. If you feel that the situation is urgent, tell the receptionist that the student needs an appointment immediately and ask to speak to an available staff member. All staff are trained in confidentiality and sensitivity to students' needs. You may need to provide transportation to the Center.
• If the student resists the idea of visiting the Center, contact the Center to discuss your concerns with a staff counselor.

What Medical Services Are Provided to Students?

• All Virginia Tech students are required to have medical insurance.
• Except in the case of an emergency, students should first go to Schiffert Health Center in McComas Hall. See www.healthcenter.vt.edu for clinic hours and other information.
• If the Health Center is closed, students needing non-emergency medical care must be seen by a private physician in the community.
• All expenses and charges for medical care received outside the Schiffert Health Center are the student's responsibility, although some charges may be covered by the student’s insurance.
• After-hours care is available weekday evenings and during limited weekend hours at Carilion Family Medicine-Blacksburg, (540) 951-0352; 24-hour medical care is available at the Montgomery Regional Hospital Emergency Department, (540) 953-5122.
• Students requiring dental treatment need to contact a local dentist. You or the Center may assist the student in finding a dentist.

What Do I Do in Case of an Emergency?
Call the Center’s emergency number immediately if your student has any sort of emergency (car accident, serious illness, death in family, emotional trauma, suicidal thoughts). Early involvement by staff can often prevent the situation from becoming more serious or avoid undue complications.

Emergency number 24 hours/365 days: (540) 230-8747

Best Wishes for a Successful Friendship!
If you need additional information about the Friendship Program or have questions about items not covered in this guide, please call the Center. The Center's staff sincerely hopes that this will be a rewarding friendship for you, and that you will have the joy of observing how our culture is experienced through the eyes of an international student.